Letter Bee: Unwavering Emotions
by YagamiNoir
Summary: A book of emotions of varying kinds, be it euphoric, melancholic, bittersweet, complied by memories in Tegami Bachi that will forever cling to the character's hearts. Combination of formerly Bittersweet Siblings and Tears from Revenge, with a new chapter. Accepting requests.
1. Bittersweet Siblings

Bittersweet Siblings

_"Thank you...Sylvette."_

* * *

Noir arose from the murky waters of Shark Cape. He had to admit that he was lucky he knew the area well, and lucky enough to escape from Lawrence and his followers unscathed. Noir had judged Lawrence wrongly of his ideals. He was nothing more than narrow and selfish; how he collected supporters and ended up sacrificing them for his own personal ambitions, the intention of helping the kin of similar people who had suffered as he did at the hands of the Amberground government nothing but deceit. Noir had joined Reverse to help the unfortunate group of people, the ones that could not become spirit- with it's leader now seeing things differently, Noir had fled the organization.

Now branded a traitor from Reverse, Noir was now dirty, miserable, and alone –and there were people precious to him seemingly unbeknownst of the imminent threat and danger that would befall them. He thought of Roda, his dingo, and her flowered scent, her beautiful purple eyes. He wondered how her sickly state was faring as she was approaching an unknown destination, and wondered if the rest of the non-Spirits were alright as well. He reminisced how he gained his affiliation with them and Reverse. How he witnessed the terrible things they went through. How they were used as playthings and disposed of like trash. How fear and hatred resided in their hearts as a result of the cold experiences that plagued them. And how he set his heart out of his own pity to help these unfortunate beings however which he can. As Noir. Never Gauche.

He thought of what the gatekeepers, Signal and Signaless had informed him during Lawrence's mission.

_Lawrence intends to offer those strong hearts to the Cabernet, greatly increasing his power, and take down the artificial sun. _

His mind sharpened out of his sceptical thoughts and a tinge of optimism aroused him. Possible as it may, _Roda and the others wouldn't let themselves be killed by Lawrence_, he thought, as he surveyed the dull, rocky structures in front of him that made a familiar path towards the west. Yuusari Central wasn't a far walk. He knew what he needed to do. Where he needed to go. Where he'd find answers. Where he'd find help.

Endless minutes of walking led Noir to Sinner's door. He secretly found it ironic that Gauche's memories would help in a time like this. Ironic how Lag's heart bullet would actually provide even the slightest of hope in such a situation. Doubts surrounded him still; were his actions correct? Would he end up being submitted to the authorities? Or would it be best if he posed as Gauche Suede yet again? Of course, his sharp mind contemplated the posibility that the Bee Hive had already discovered his deception. Was he now simply submitting himself to the net of justice? Would his efforts end in vain?

The little hope Noir had in his heart didn't go to waste. He was lucky that Jacob and Sandra spared their curiousity and gave him what he required without too big of a fuss. However, the couple's words still bothered him, to a mild degree. He was no longer Gauche, and that was something he wouldn't go back on. A name bothered him next.

_Sylvette._

_Sylvette_, he allowed the name to wander his mind, awakening memories. The girl who once used to be his sister, the girl who he decieved into believing he returned as her beloved brother and left without a trace when he escaped. The girl whom he threw away without a care in the world, insensitive of the tears that have been shed...just as how Roda and the others were thrown away. _No love, no compassion. _But that was not the biggest of his concerns, he thought, as he crossed that out of his mind.

_Be careful out there, Suede_. Jacob told him. _To be human, you need both life and heart. _

_The heart you once knew is gone, _he secretly thought as he disregarded Jacob's words, hiding his newly gained heart bullet gun, albeit an imperfect one, inside the shadows of his cloak. _And even now, I never needed one. _

Noir exited the door and was just about to go on his way.

"_Brother!_"

The familiar sound almost made Noir flinch. He turned and stared with his wide-eyed purple eyes the wheelchair bound girl before him, her beautiful yet astonished azure blue eyes staring back. Smoke white hair similar to his. Her familiar dress. Noir didn't know how to respond with the coincidental and sudden encounter with Sylvette, as they stood for endless moments locking their eyes at each other as the hour bells rang. He wondered if he could just run off now and hurry to his other matters; that won't do, he suddenly said, Sylvette would easily catch up being who she is. I'll knock her out, he thought again. No, I can't waste a valuable shot from the gun and attract unwanted attention, more or less make myself more of a wanted criminal. But above all, he felt _something. Something beyond descriptive words. _He found himself strangely attached to the girl before him, a longing feeling residing inside, wanting to stay with her even if it meant just a moment. Confusion surrounded him—_why was he feeling like this?_

Sylvette was also surprised by the sudden encounter. There he was, her brother, looking a bit dirty, staring at her with equally wide eyes. She now swam in her thoughts intently as her brother did, not knowing her brother had the same doubts surrounding him. What would he do now? He tried to murder Lag. He'd deceived her. He'd run away from her. What would he do next? Did he still care?

They ended up near a fountain a stone's throw away from the shop. Noir allowed the uncomfortable silence to fill in the space between them, interrupted only by the soothing sound of flowing water and the footsteps of the bypassers he glanced downward from the high place he was at, as he stared into space. His calm expression hid his nervousness as he felt his heartbeat intensifying slightly. He didn't know what to say, what he _should _say. Sylvette should be informed of my deception, he thought, and wondered what she now thought of him – family? Or a hateful person in her life out of the horrible things that he'd done?

"_Oh, brother..." _Sylvette's voice pierced his thoughts. _"You disappearing so suddenly like that,"_ Her voice was soft, a bit cheerful, but in all reassuring. She wasn't sad yet, and she hadn't let go as well. Forgiven of the terrible things he'd done to her. Noir found this a slightly good sign, but he knew he had to be honest with her one way or the other. _"What a shock you gave me..."_

She stopped for a moment, and the silence grew disturbing. Noir desperately hoped for her to say something, to build up the awkward conversation. _Anything_, he thought. What could he say?

"_You are my brother."_ She began.

He found the courage to turn around at look at her, albeit hesitantly.

"_Even if your heart doesn't return..."_ She continued. _"You will always be my brother. Forever and always."_

Noir's heart melted somewhere. Regardless of who he was now, Noir now knew that Sylvette letting go of Gauche Suede would never be easy, more or less even possible. How could he _ever_ explain that to her? He felt the weighty responsibility fall on his shoulders as he stared into Sylvette's adorable blue eyes, filled with hope and plea. A faint smile adorned upon her face. She was expecting something. A response. An answer.

At least Noir began, turning away and looking downward, at nervousness and at awkwardness. "I am and can no longer..."

"Think of me as your sister?" She interrupted as she drove to his side, the smile gone from her tender face. Noir wondered if his expression had already revealed what he needed to say. "Is it true that it's impossible for you to live as Gauche Suede anymore?"

_Yes, _he thought_. I am no longer the person you think of as your brother, and I doubt I can ever be. _But he couldn't be that blunt, not ever. He found himself caring and sensible of Sylvette's feelings, and didn't want to reply with a heartbreaking answer. He wished he need not be honest with the heartbreaking truth. He found himself not wanting to sever another heart, especially not hers. But _why_? Why couldn't he just get this done and over with?

"_I'm sorry." _He replied, somewhat sheepishly. He thought his reply was terrible but secretly hoped it would suffice one way or the other. No matter how much others wanted him to be Gauche, he could not, and will not become him. But a part of Gauche still remained that got onto his serves and made him vulnerable to hesistance. _How could I still care? _He thought. How could he still...

Sylvette's expression drooped at Noir's response. The eyes sparkled as she noticed her brother's troubled expression, the azure colour dulling as the eyes struggled to keep the water in. Again an uncomfortable silence now formed an invisible wall between them as Sylvette drove to the fountain. Noir turned. He expected her to cry. To continuously beg of him to come back and never let her go. To witness the heart-melting anguish that he had inevitably caused her. He waited. Not a sign of shivering was present. Not even a sound from her.

"I see." She finally answered, firmly, startling Noir. His expressionless exterior hid his amazement and awe at Sylvette's smile as she continued. "I understand. After all, once you decide on something, you never change your mind, brother. It's the same way as you left for Akatsuki. I'm sure you have something important going on now..." The smile was mildly sour, but still clear.

He was utterly nonplussed. She could let go that easily? She would accept him as he is?

"But, you know?" The smile vanished, and she was now shivering. Noir hadn't anticipated wrongly. It was hard for her to accept it. He felt his heart ache slightly as he glanced at her fighting against her sadness and tears. He felt the unknown feeling making his chest uncomfortable and heavy but didn't let it show on his face, which still stood expressionless. He continued to watch her, silently answering her in his heart.

"_I'll always...always...be your sister."_

_I thank you, Sylvette. Gauche would be happy. _

"_So if you ever feel like returning, you can come back anytime, got it?"_

_I will, and I am forever indebted._

"_I'll make my soup and wait for you."_

_The warm taste will forever stay in my heart._

"_So...so..."_

Sylvette couldn't continue, and she was blaming herself for not being strong as she wanted to be. To accept her brother's change and get it done and over with. To at least show how much she still cared, without letting the sadness overtake her. But she had failed. She closed her eyes and could hear Noir approaching her. There was hope in her, that he would come back and return the love and affection she still had for him despite all that had happened. For them to be happy siblings again.

Noir squat down. Sylvette opened her eyes and faced her brother, expressionless as always. With a gentle move, Noir lunged at the saddened girl as he gave her the only thing he could for now – a hug. It was genuine, and Sylvette missed and for what was perhaps the last time she lay on her brother's warm shoulder, not caring about the dirtied clothes he was wearing, not minding the dampness of his clothes that was offset by the moment of irreplaceable warmth her brother had offered her.

"Thank you...Sylvette." It was a cry from the heart. It was simple and blunt, but _true. _

"_Goodbye..." _She breathed.

And Noir turned, never looking back. And as her brother left, she allowed a teardrop to drop on her delicate hands. Once. Twice. Before coming out in flowing rivers.

"Brother..." She couldn't resist any longer and allowed the fountain of salty, sorrowful tears to leak out. And as she looked at her brother's direction, he saw the white hair slowly diminishing into the darkness as the rest of the cloak blended into the shadows, vanishing.

Was that the last time she'd ever see him?

Was that the last time he'd ever see her?

Noir never looked back, afraid of the memories that would confound him. He was now surrounded by an array of emotions that were alien to him. His heart felt warm, yet a pang of guilt lingered inside. He felt terrible for doing that. For leaving his own sister...the mixture of emotions was indescribable. Regret. Longing.

_Sadness._

A tear leaked from his purple eye, for the very first time. And for what seemed to be the first time in his life, he felt warmth. Compassion.

_Love. _

_So this is what love is like, _he thought. _The warmth and compassion that links two people together, regardless of circumstance..._

Noir wiped off the tear on his right eye, glancing at his dampened hand. Was it of sorrow? Was it of joy? Was he touched? Melancholy? That would be a question Noir would never know the answer to.

_Thank you, my dear little _sister_..._ Noir thought as he would've sworn it was Gauche inside him that let out the words in his heart, allowing the final traces of the bittersweet moment to fade slowly and painfully as he headed out into his search.

**Just a little something I decided to write up to pass and make up for the extremely long time I've been absent from Fanfiction. I genuinely loved this scene and always wanted to write about it, and well, I've finally motivated myself enough to take incentive. It's not the best, but I hope you all enjoy and reviews, favourites and of course comments are appreciated.**

**-YagamiNoir**


	2. Tears From Revenge

Tears from Revenge

_"Perhaps if I've met you sooner...I could've saved you."_

* * *

Zazie stood in front of the simple grave before him, Wasiolka at his side. They were on the hill a stone's throw away from the city skirmishes of Ritoritsuri, steps away from the now vacant house where Emily used to live. Zazie allowed the wind to breeze through his entirely, messying his hair, untidying his ridden clothes and dirt-strained scarf as he simply stood for endless minutes staring at the wooden cross planted into the ground. Wasiolka's curiosity directed her glance to her master as she, somewhat lazily, scratched her back; she said nothing, however, knowing that Zazie was traversing through his thoughts and memories- that of which he found impossible to let go.

_"Let me bury her_," Zazie recalled, uttering the words plainly and remorselessly. He remembered himself returning to town after reading his parents' letter, hiding his newfelt emotions inside. He watched the corpse - or to be more precise, the girl who had her heart taken, now but an empty void -the young girl, the faint smile barely detectable on her lifeless face, beautiful even in death, and the people who took her away- how they endlessly blamed her, the poor, young girl, Emily...of her actions, her solitude, her hate..._everything. _

_Shut up_, he growled inside. _You'd never understand. Only I do. I alone, perhaps..._

Zazie found himself capable of suppressing his anger despite that, and said he wanted to bury her by hand when they asked what their saviour wanted for eliminating the Laphreug- the scorpion-like Gaichuu that terrorized the city under Emily's command- and Zazie's sworn enemy, the one Gaichuu that murdered his parents and dawned his decision for revenge, that of what seemed to be his sole purpose in life, the purpose he had managed to fulfill for himself, and for his parents. The townspeople ended up reluctantly complying as they brought Emily's body up onto the hotel that she stayed, and left Zazie alone to do the rest.

Ordering Wasiolka to dig a hole deep enough for the girl, he made the wooden cross from a pair of old, wooden planks she found in the old, dusty hotel basement - which he ignored despite the fact that two old, heartless bodies remained untouched inside - and for the first time, made a grave for someone.

The sour rumbling of Zazie's stomach pierced his thoughts, as Wasiolka stared at him with concerned, slightly amused eyes. Zazie decided to finish the portion of Jacob's bread he bought from him and ate with Connor earlier. He withdrew the folded cloth that hid the already half-eaten piece of still-warm bread and took a bite - it tasted _awful. Stale, horrible, insipid _- nothing of a taste like when he tasted his bread not just a while ago...and nothing like the delicious meals Emily had made.

_Emily_, he thought of the name, and reminisced every moment he had been with the girl. How they first met - his astonishment of her management of the hotel, how she handled Wasiolka easily, her sensitive nose and hearing despite her blindness. And, of course, under the current circumstances, the wonderful food she would make for Zazie that would never cease to sate his senses and leave him mouth-watering when he returned from his search.

Still wanting to satisfy the empty void that disturbed his stomach, he figured that perhaps Emily had some spare food inside the barren house that he would be willing to eat. He surveyed the dark, empty halls and went into the kitchen, allowing memories to pass. At times like this, he would see Emily with her compelling smile busy preparing heart-warming meals for him. He found some familiar cakes Emily had made for him, and, slightly delighted, took another bite-

_No_, he suddenly said, slowly munching the mouthful of food, achingly shoving it down his throat. _This isn't Emily's food. It can't be_...he thought. Emily's food was warm and delicious and Zazie wouldn't hesitate to gulp it all down. This was but devoid of any warmth Emily used to offer - even if she did make it, it just wasn't the same.

He went out of the hotel, leaving the door creaking open as he was ruffled by yet again another gusty breeze, caressing his cheeks - soft enough to remind him enough of the things Emily would say, and soft enough to remind him of the warmth and kindness she had given her during his brief stay.

"_You have a fever..._" The wind that brushed against his face reminded him of Emily's warm hands that soothed his cheeks, reminded him of her gentle, genuine voice. "_You didn't have an appetite today...you're tired...please, stay and rest, Zazie..."_

_I'm sorry, but I have to go to work_! He recalled his response as he rushed off with Wasiolka, leaving her behind as he left his final traces of his voice saying he looked forward to her food.

Emily...

He allowed the negative memories to come into place. What he thought was a sweet, kind and loving Emily had more to meet the eye; she had been controlling his sworn enemy - the Laphreug - and had used it to satisfy her hatred. Hatred that Zazie and Emily shared in a way. She despised everything; how her caretakers abused her, how people looked at her insultingly and teasingly - for that, her hatred grew, and she desired the destruction of those who had treated her that way - something the Laphreug was willing to offer. But she was eventually overtaken by the malice she had harboured, and it ultimately destroyed her. She had lost her heart, overwhelmed by attempting to halt the Laphreug's destruction. She wanted to destroy everything, but ended up getting destroyed herself.

Zazie was the same - revenge and malice were but once the only things Zazie ever knew. He too, despised how people looked at him that way people looked at Emily - what it felt like to be hurt. To be alone. With no one to understand. However, he considered himself lucky - lucky that he didn't allow the malice and hate in him to take control of him and end up with the same fate Emily had as a result. He remembered - the final bits left in his heart were, once, to him, things that he would be willing to let go for revenge. He thought that once his revenge was fulfilled, he would be empty and purposeless -but now it had, and yet he was still alive, and he knew his new purpose; he reminisced how Lag and revealed the letter's contents to him, giving him a new meaning in life. As, for a new start, Zazie Winters.

Zazie had let go of hatred and vengeance after that incident. He couldn't possibly find himself hating Emily for controlling the Gaichuu that once killed his parents, unable to hate her for her betrayal after everything they've been through together. Zazie acquired his revenge, yet he couldn't feel accomplished nor reassured. Nothing...but confusion. Hesitance.

He pondered on Emily again. Was her kindness but a ruse? A lie? Deception? _It couldn't have, _he reassured himself. He had felt it- genuine warmth and kindness in everything she had done for him. He compared the two different Emilys he knew - the sweet, caring Emily, and the hateful, destructive Emily. Zazie could never blame her for her bad side for he knew what she had been through, and no one else understood. He reminisced carefully the final traces of his feud with the Laphreug, as he could see a smile - the reassuring, kind smile he knew - that stood on Emily's face as she perished, perhaps still remaining as she lay in the ground. He now knew; Emily had died with a smile or her face, perhaps happy that she had managed to feel kindness and warmth for the first time, the only thing she ever wanted. Perhaps she had allowed him to exact his revenge, knowing that Zazie cared for her with all his heart.

Zazie clenched and unclenched his right fist, somewhat mechanically. _Did you feel my warmth? _He wondered. _Emily, did my kindness in my heart reach you?_

But...

_Perhaps if I've met you sooner, I could've saved you. _

_I could've...saved you._

_I could've...been with you. We could've been...happy together._

_I could've...loved you. _

Zazie allowed the fountain of tears to involuntarily leak out of his dark blue, cat-like eyes, anguished and mourning. The liquid came out in endless drops as they seeped into the ground, perhaps trying to reach the person Zazie was crying for, the one person that understood what if felt like to be him, as if she was him. That one person who, for the first time, allowed him to feel kindness, warmth and love. For the second time he had managed to weep for someone, another time did he allow the overwhelming sadness to run through him like a hot knife through butter. The hesitant thoughts in his head morphed into repeated blows of regret, the uncomfortable, heart-breaking pang lingering in his chest. _It's my fault you died, _he thought. _I didn't come and save you sooner...I'd killed her by my own hand. I wasn't there for you when you needed me most. I had not cherished the times we had together_. His revenge hadn't stolen himself, but it had stolen someone else - and would perhaps become that of a guilt he would perhaps never forgive himself for, a regret forever weighing on Zazie's shoulders.

_I'm sorry, Emily, _he blamed himself, breathing the words through chokes and inside his empty, shattered heart.

_I'm sorry..._

_I'm eternally sorry..._

_**I managed some time to fulfil another request, so I hope you guys enjoy my first shot at Zazie x Emily. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi. **_


	3. A Smile on Your Face

A Smile on Your Face

_"I prefer a woman with a smile on her face."_

* * *

"BANG!"

Countless threads of powerful, scarlet light shot from out of the blue, passing through the pile of letters scattered across the carriage roof that Connor and Zazie were in. The array of heart bullets intensified, overwhelming the Gaichuu that terrorized Yuusari central as it burst into broken fragments of tattered armor, followed by a blinding, silvery light. Connor turned behind him and saw a familiar silhouette behind him - black-cloaked and white-haired.

Noir, he thought, as he pondered on how clever he was to use the heart in the letters to strengthen the power of the heart bullet. But as his small eyes peered closer into the traces of light that veiled the figure, he allowed his astonishment to overtake him as he realized that the man - no, the boy, wasn't Noir.

It was _him._

Almost a year had passed - 358 days, to be exact. The vicinity of Yuusari Central was slightly dimmer, the light of the artificial sun flickering and diminishing at a rather threatening pace; Caribs Garrard, temporary Bee Hive director had received news from Akatsuki wanting the best Head Bee candidates to be sent to Akatsuki as soon as possible. Caribs has given up on him, the young Bee who had promised to return earlier - the Bee and his second-rate dingo - who he found to have taken too long in his presumed "journey", and who he presumed to have most likely lost his heart just like his hero had.

But now he'd returned - despite how long it took, _he returned,_ as promised.

"L-Lag..." Connor choked under his breath, surprised and wide-eyed. He examined his every feature, surprised at what a year had done to him. His messy Albisian hair needed a trim, long enough for the strands of hair to merit a small pony tail in which he tied behind his head. His once innocent, child-like gaze in his purple eye was different - that of a purple eye Connor had never seen before, mature and calm - like that of Noir's. It was as if he was looking at a young Gauche again. He peered behind him and saw another two familiar figures - the young girl, slightly grown up with silky, blonde hair, and the white-furred creature that stood upon her head.

The light slowly faded, and it was Zazie's turn to be surprised as he got to his heels, glancing at the person whom he hadn't seen for such a long while and the change in him because of that. Lag simply glanced at them with an unwavering, expressionless exterior, a faint smile barely detectable on his face.

"Lag!" Zazie exclaimed as he quickly approached him.

"It's been long. Zazie, Connor." Lag uttered, as Zazie could notice his voice deepen throughout his absence. He'd really grown up, he thought - no longer the crybaby Lag he used to know. "Sylvette..." He continued. "Where is she?"

Anger surged through Zazie as if he was fire that met water, his fists quivering to land themselves on the cloaked boy that stood before him. He'd left for so long and the first thing he'd ask is where Sylvette is? With no explanation or apology for how he'd been gone for far too long?

"You've gone for far too long and yet you still dare to ask-"

"Yes, I've gone for long..." Lag uttered again, his tone unchanging. "I'm sorry I've not returned...but now I have. How is she? Is she safe? Is...she alright..."

"She'd better off be dead than be with you!" Zazie shoved the collar of the cold, black cloak he was wearing and struggled to resist the urge to punch him in the face and tell him how sad he was. How sad Connor was. How terrible Sylvette was without him. How...everyone had missed him. He allowed angry, yet sorrowfully genuine tears to leak from one of his dark blue, cat-like eyes that faced Lag's violet one with yet another remorseless look on his face.

A slight pang of pain interrupted his long stare; Niche had, rather gently, but with enough force knocked Zazie to one side with her strong hair. "Friends don't do that." She hissed, aqua-blue eyes widening.

"It's alright, Niche." Lag breathed. "I owe everyone an apology."

"Enough, you two!" Connor came running, panting and slightly out of breath. "Lag, you want to see Sylvette, don't you? She's at her place, but...she's not faring very well. Let me come with you."

Lag didn't respond. Hiding his Nocturne inside the shadows of his cloak - a familiar scene Connor saw in Noir that seemed to now develop in Lag - he headed towards the streets on the west, Niche close behind, on steady, audible footsteps.

Endless minutes of walking led Lag and his dingo to a familiar door. Returning back after so long made everything seem so unknown, as Lag wandered into thoughts and possibilities about what would happen if he went in. Is Sylvette alright? He allowed that, and perhaps that alone to remain the first thought that came to his head. A pang of guilt rose to his head next as he felt his heart beat at an increasing fast rate. Lag knew he'd kept her waiting for too long, and knew how deep a guilt he'd done to her. He swam into his doubts and thought again, did I hurt her to a point where she had forgotten? To a point where they could no longer be like they once was..._or more?_

Driving his hesitant body forcefully, Lag went into the room - the sweat that leaked from his hands made him wonder why treading in the place he used and would still call home seemed like going through a haunted house. He watched the empty, hollow place for a brief momet as he was taken aback by familiar, silent sobs. He turned at stared at the wheel-chair bound girl in front of him, his purple eye collecting how she'd changed in the course of his absence, his eye widening as a blush involuntarily appeared on his slightly dirty cheeks. A year did a lot to her - she was now still beautiful as ever, her smoke grey hair naturally yet perfectly falling across her face and trailed down her shoulders, devoid of how she used to tie it in her usual pony-tail. But her eyes - bejeweled, beautiful azure eyes that he could stare at all day if she let him - _were hollow and injured,_ tears collecting in them. Sylvette was now blinded by sorrow, blinded by tears that seemed to never stop shedding...tears and sorrow that Lag had brought about upon her.

The Albisian girl turned to the sound of the creaking footsteps and stared at the cloaked boy before him with slightly blurred eyes. She felt her body freeze in disbelief and collected the change of the boy that she had been waiting for so long. He resembled her brother, and amidst her shock she didn't know whether to feel happy or heartbroken. He had returned as promised, but he reminded her of how her brother had lost her heart and the things he'd done that hurt her - _would this person standing before her now do the same thing? _

Sylvette felt herself moving beyond her control as she drove to him and allowed herself to fall and lie on Lag's now well-built, warm shoulders - just as she did to her brother when he had returned. She tried desperately to narrow the space between them, brushing her forehead against his as their hair jumbled up and collided. Her hands gently, yet desperately, touched every feature; she ran her fingers against his white, thick hair and caressed his cheeks, savouring his presence. Out of their conscious both of them flushed bright red, the tears on Sylvette's cheeks overflowing as she begged for the moment to stay and not break away.

"It's you..." She wailed through her desperate breathing. "It's really you..."

Lag managed a smile. "It's me, Sylvette. I'm home, as promised."

"Idiot..." She uttered, startling Lag. "Really, you idiot..."

"I'm really sorry..." Lag's face began to dampen.

"Don't give me that!" She hammered her arms against his chest and began to weep frantically, fountains of teardrops endlessly staining his cloak as she cried over the thousands of blades that impaled her heart. "Do you know how hard it was to wait for you for so long? How lonely I was...how I almost cried myself blind...thinking about you every day..." Sylvette spoke her heart out - the pain and sorrow she felt was devastating, and Lag felt his heart linked to hers, sharing the same throbbing ache that her heart had harboured for so long.

"And...how scared I was...if I were to lose you just like I once lost my brother...and how helpless I was with nothing to do about it...what could I have done? But cry...but worry..."

The pain intensified, the pang of guilt lingered in his stomach as Lag quivered, his face even more wet as he felt Sylvette's tears that landed across him simmer her sadness into his entirety.

"To think...I may never see you again...to think...you'd forgotten all about me...to think you no longer cared...and...and..." She couldn't continue as she allowed her sadness to seal her mouth and envelop herself. Between her melancholic feelings there was longing - Sylvette wanted Lag to comfort her. To tell him to hug her tightly in his arms and to never let go. To tell her that...to tell her that...

_He loved her._

It took her a while to realize it, but Sylvette had been in love with Lag, and had hoped he would feel the same way after being together for so long. The things he had done so much for her and the hope and happiness he had brought upon her life. But amidst that love she was hurt - hurt that Lag seemed to not care about her feelings, hurt that they would just be perhaps friends or family and nothing more. The uncomfortable silence breezed past the house for a moment, broken by only the heart-melting sound of Sylvette's anguished moans.

"I regretted everything," Lag began, uttering the words through chokes. Lag was being honest now; honest about his feelings, what he felt. "I regretted every moment I'd left you, and missed you every same moment I treaded through. I figured that somehow - if I managed to save everyone - I wouldn't have to worry you ever again..."

Sylvette calmed down slightly as she was slightly reassured by his words, returning him amidst of her still anguished exterior a look that told him he said the right thing.

"I couldn't stop thinking of you every step I took, wondering every day if you were alright, wondering how much tears you'd shed because of me. I wanted to come back as soon I could - I truly did. And...and..."

Sylvette ran her fingers through her silver hair as the rose on her face deepened, tears still leaking from her pleading, still-teary eyes as she impatiently waited for his response.

"I was under the impression that...I wasn't good enough for you. Forgive me, Sylvette, but...I've...always wanted to say that I loved you. You're a wonderful person that had made me very happy in my life, and I always doubted myself capable of bringing you happiness that anyone ever could. I realized that I never shouldn't left you and regretted every day I couldn't tell you how I felt. I'm really sorry, Sylvette..."

His words made her heart flutter as more tears flowed from her eyes, unable to resist any longer. Without warning, Sylvette quickly and gently lunged forward and placed her lips against his, embracing the moment of blissful oblivion of the loving, passionate gesture. The red on Lag's face brightened and his purple eye widened at the sudden move, but Lag wasn't complaining nor resisting, returning the kiss with perhaps what was the love he too, had harboured for so long and yearned to express to her. He slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulders - somewhat mechanically - and allowed the other to run his fingers around her beautiful hair. They wished time would stop and for the moment to never end as they stood for endless moments continuing the kiss before parting with the rose still staining their faces and small breaths panting from their mouths.

"Don't you ever leave me like that again, Lag Seeing..." She continued in gasps, trying to recover from the trauma as sour, worried lips frowned upon her still teary face as she dug her head into him.

"I won't." Lag murmured, as he continued to stroke her hair and entwined one hand in hers. "I won't make you worry again. It's going to give you crow's feet."

She tilted her head upward, genuine tears glistening her desperate, longing plea.

_"I prefer a woman with a smile on her face."_ Lag faced her with what was perhaps his sweetest smile as his purple eye smiled an equal wide as the one that adorned his lips that tempted Sylvette to want and kiss them again, the wonderful, beautiful smile she had yearned to see for so long, the smile that easily managed to melt the doubts and fear that lingered in her heart.

Sylvette smiled at Lag with as much sweetness and happiness she could muster, her tears remained flowing, but no longer did sadness flow in those tears - those were but tears of joy, as they stood up and hugged each other with their faces still rosy as Sylvette comfortably laid on Lag's shoulder. The barrier and sorrow that stood between them was no more, and all that was left was their love for one another.

**Admittedly I was busy as I made this so I don't think I did it very well...regardless I hope you all enjoy this. Anyways, I've updated the fic to be called the new title seen above, "Letter Bee: Unwavering Emotions" to compile all the fics I've written similar to this (Bittersweet Siblings and Tears from Revenge for reference) and will accept requests on more characters that you all want in this book of memories. Who's next? I look forward to your decision.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi.**


	4. Black and White

Black and White

_"Do you...regret it?"_

* * *

Roda was alone - she brought herself to the murky pool surrounded by rocks that separated the water from the Rosie river. Every now and then, she would expose herself onto the water to absorb sufficient moisture and starlight to survive. She took off her white clothes, revealing the tainted scars from painful memories, and drenched herself into the dark, seemingly tainted pool, somewhat rejuvenated and relaxed. Dawn had yet to come; the perpetual darkness brought about spots of mild starlight that fluttered and seeped into the water - Roda tried to perceive the odd phenomena, unable to recall how many times she had done this but for the first time questioned it; she watched the lights seep into the water, as if to cleanse the dark pool of it's flith; she watched endless spots fall into the pool as the hue changed, swirls of light adorning the darkness as she felt the light cleanse her as well.

_Light shines across the darkness._

It reminded her of him. _Him_. He who gave her purpose. Who gave them all purpose. He understood, and he cared, despite who she was. Despite who they are were. They were weak ; rejected, valued like that of a memory, perhaps less - forever tormented with life when death would perhaps be better for them - until _he_ came. He gave them pity, he gave them compassion, and above all, taught Roda how to let go of her past and live as she is now, regardless of what life brings. Noir knew that all too well - he was someone else, someone valued and loved - and he let go of those valuable memories - for perhaps their sake.

He knew only him, and not who he once was. He wanted only him, and not the other. Simply Noir, never Gauche. It never occured for her to be concerned until Lag came into place - one who knew and cared for Gauche, and swore to bring his heart back. She remembered her fear; her fear when Noir had seemingly gotten back to his former self, making her devoid of purpose; and her hesitance of whether that would be better for him instead of staying who he is now. She could observe the change in Noir after he parted ways with his former life, parted with, Lag, with Sylvette, and everyone else close to him -she could sense longing, sadness, regret, hesitance. A Noir she feared would come, despite the fact that he seemingly reassured her that it wouldn't, his heart set - but now she could sense the wavering in it.

She sighed and traversed through her train of thought - the water and light seemed to cleansed the vagueness of her mind and allowed her to remember everything. She recalled pain, sadness, and herself escaping those melancholic feelings for a while when Noir came into play. She walked through every nook and cranny of her life, reminiscing the ups and downs that had occurred - as Noir's dingo, and that alone, she found herself saying. But there was something inside - one particular memory - that would disturb her. The same white-haired people - perhaps a younger Noir, in a Bee outfit, and the same crybaby boy , and a female canine, fur a white as hers - what was perhaps a memory of something mixed with her, as she allowed a tear to haughtily slit through gaps of her eyes.

_Tears...for me to cry. So...warm._ She dampened her hand with the touch of the drop of salty liquid. _You're growing weak, Roda. Don't forget who you are._

_Who are you now?_ Roda thought as she allowed the teardrop to vanish into the murky pool, comparing Gauche's warm, unusual smile and the cold, strong side of the Noir she knew. She couldn't help but wonder that, as she reminisced those past events again, and how they'd affected Noir, and herself. Noir was, to her, irreplaceable - inside her, she didn't want his heart gone, Noir's heart - the heart she knew and loved, and the heart she made purpose to. She wondered if Noir considered replacing that heart for his old one - the heart that knew warmth, knew love, and had many others waiting and yearning for too - things that she wanted, but could never really experience. She felt an unpleasant, concerned pang rise in her chest, wondering if it was selfish of her to think of it that way.

Struggling to brush those thoughts out of her head, she got back into her clothes and she silently pressed her footsteps through the snowy lands, progressing back inside the cold, shady caves of Blue Notes Blues, lit by the luminescent glow of the frozen pillars that adorned every corner with slanting, ethereal shades of blue and turquoise. She walked deeper into the caves, letting out out a cold breath that swirled through the air as she felt her body quiver - slightly in perhaps the cold that caressed her bare arms or the fear of the cold silence as she progressed - or was it something else?

She reached the deeper parts of the cave, stony sculptures hanging from the cavern ceilings and the cold colours diminishing into a yellowish light, illuminating the lake. She felt admiration and slight fear well up inside her as she glanced at the figure before her - it was him, with hair smoke white, and black-cloaked. She watched the figure tilt his head slightly – perhaps aware of her presence – as he turned, his thick, Albisian hair danced at the cold gust of wind that breezed through them, before her purple eyes faced haunting, flinching violet ones of a familiar intensity. She could feel her heart thump faster in the silence what was only interrupted by the silent drops of water that audibly echoed across the cave in the quiet, cold silence, into the mirrored, crystal clear lake. _Drop, drop, drop_, it went, a pace equal to that of the beating of her heart, that of a noise only she could hear so loudly, as she wondered if Noir's piercing eyes knew she was nervous, despite the calm smile that stood on his face - the smile she knew, as Noir, and not Gauche. She felt the sounds blend in; _Drop drop drop, thump thump thump._

"You're up early." She heard his warm voice, shattering the tempo. "You were doing it again?"

Roda knew Noir was perceptive, but she felt rather surprised that Noir saw right through her this time; that is, until she noticed the dew of distinguished, coloured liquid that slit down strands of her white, slightly moist hair.

"Yes." She breathed. "I'm sorry."

"It's something you need," Noir retaliated. "Please, do not worry."

The silence grew disturbing as Noir grasped the concern and hesitance that stood on Roda's face, again only interrupted by the drops of water that seemed to not stop.

"Is something wrong?" He breathed, as he went closer to her.

"_Do you...regret it_?" She asked, perhaps feeling odd inside as if she asked the question involuntarily. Why was she asking this?

"Regret what?"

She stared at him - with eyes that spoke her heart out, and eyes that Noir knew and understood more than anyone else. The two pairs of purple eyes locked themselves for endless moments, perhaps making an invisible conversation that only the both of them could understand - Noir's seemed to listen and perceive, while Roda's continued talking. The air grew colder and delicate, as Roda shivered again and let out a cold, vague breath. Noir took off his cloak and shrouded her in it, as she could feel the warmth clear away the cold she felt as pink blotches tainted her cheeks, the mild colour resembling the pink she wore.

"_Tell me_," He began, at long last. "Why do you worry?"

"Do you truly not regret it?" She worded through what seemed to be embarrassment that aroused a secret, amused smile that Noir managed to hide. "You and your former life..."

"...What is there to regret?" He hummed. Roda could sense from his tone that he wasn't speaking the truth - Noir always seemed to lie in situations such as this. "I am satisfied with who I am now, and my heart is set. It's yet to change; like the first time you asked me, has it not?" The pink on her cheeks intensified, as she felt a warm hand entwin in hers, as she stared closer into his ever so compelling eyes.

"Truly do you not wish to be Gauche Suede?" She asked, rather sheepishly. "Truly do you not care for Lag, Sylvette and the others yearning for your return? Truly do you not doubt that you would enjoy your old life?"

"I don't regret leaving it."

_"I do_." She found herself speak beyond her control, as she flushed in embarrassment realizing she had said something wrong. But it was something she needed to say, one way or another; she had her doubts of what would be best, for him and for herself. Another silence blanketed the room, Noir facing her with sightly widening eyes, before continuing:

"And you are willing to give up who I am now just for that?"

"N-No!" She said, hastily. "I..."

She felt her mouth silenced by a warm finger, a warm smile. Her heart could explode from her chest any minute and her face was hot.

"No matter who I was in the past, it's behind me." He continued. "It is for the best if we lived as we are now - our present selves, towards the future."

"And the present you is just Noir?"Noir grasped the doubt and hesitance that lay in her voice, "Is it true that Gauche Suede is no longer in you?"

Another brief moment of silence.

"That...I cannot say myself. It's true that when Lag Seeing came into my life," Noir said, "I had my doubts myself. I used to think I could perhaps go back to being Gauche Suede. But..."

Roda found herself twirling the strands of hair that fell across her forehead, as she waited for a response.

"I care for you most, Roda." He said. "My heart stays still with you and the ones who could not become spirit. You who have been used by the government...I wish to save you. Gauche Suede's heart cannot replace that."

The doubt and hesitance in Roda seemed to diminish slightly, a reassured smile barely lit upon her face as the pink on her cheeks intensified.

"Thank you, Noir..."

"But..."

"Hmm?"

"Would it not be possible to live as the same people? Gauche and Noir's heart, as one itself?"

"I don't understand." Roda said, pausing at the question.

"Niche said so, did she not?" Noir breathed as Roda recalled Niche's words during the battle with the Cabernet. "I am Noir, but I am also Gauche. Whoever I was matters not - I am now empty of memory, and am ultimately just myself - and myself alone. The past makes nothing of me."

Roda seemed unsatisfactory still. The worried look still lingered on her face, mildly annoyed. Noir sighed, never seeing his dingo as doubtful as this before, but with the chain of events endlessly interfering with their lives, he knew that his own doubts would affect Roda as well - and perhaps he alone could explain it.

"I understand it's difficult to let go of the past," He began. "You and the ones who have become spirit with a torment of that only each other can understand...I understand entirely. But scars heal - and it is but these scars that perhaps make who you are. Scars that make you a better person, or forever clinging to the past and forever unhappy. But what matters most is who you are now; who we all are now. It is what you do with the gift of life that defines who you are. And what we can do - the best we can do - is to live it to the fullest, towards the future."

The words were light cleansing her in the vagueness of the darkness. She knew her purpose. To stay beside him, to fight and to live with him, and let not the pain of the past overwhelm her again - together towards a place and time that would never be fixed or end.

_"For the future."_ Noir said.

"_For the future_." Roda replied, equally soft.

Roda smiled, a warm, genuinely happy smile, which again Noir returned, equally warm. Noir stretched out his warm hand and entwined in hers as Roda indulged in the warm feeling, walking side by side, departing from the depths of the cold caves to a place they would not know, to a destination that didn't matter.

_Towards a future unseen, but that awaited them. Towards a newly painted tommorow. _

**Business restricts time for words. I leave but my hopes and gratitude to all readers enjoying this despite how busy I was making it. Inspired by currently Japanese/Chinese edition-restricted chapter 83. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi.**


	5. Reminiscence: Fireplace

Reminiscence : Fireplace

_Please return home...Gauche..._

_Please return home...brother..._

* * *

Aria Link returned from yet another tiring day of work, stretching her limbs, slightly lazily as she untied her usually refined, blonde, silky hair that flowed through her shoulders somewhat messily - a scene that her dingo, Bolt, would perhaps sense almost every day as her mistress returned; he was sharp despite his dull eyesight, and even on that day, as usual, he would greet Aria with a warm, welcoming bark as he indulged in the warm touch of her hand stroking frayed strands of his slightly bushy fur, fingers running through the thunderbolt- like mark on his forehead and the scar that crossed near his nose. Aria allowed the irritation and stress of work to diminish upon seeing her dingo - Bolt always got her through every day, and she thought that a dingo wasn't the proper name for Bolt anymore. He was a friend. A very good friend.

Aria came out from a warm bath - under Bolt's usual persistence - as they huddled themselves near the warm fireplace with the warmth gently soothing them, complemented by silent, somewhat relaxing flickers and crackles of the dancing flame. Yussari became colder when the year was about to end, and Aria and Bolt appreciated the warm fire that protected them from the shrills of the cold season - it reminded them of the fires they used to make when they spent their nights in the wilderness, equally warm as the one they enjoyed now. Her emerald eyes watched Bolt's hollow, grey ones look back at her, smiling - the glance reminded her of unforgettable memories, the warmth of the nearby fire perhaps adding into the emotion and bringing the memories to life.

* * *

"Thanks, dad!" She remembered herself young and playful, and Bolt himself significantly smaller and cuter than he now was, eyes that held hope and promise staring at her. "He's got a mark shaped like a thunderbolt on his head! That's right, I'll name you Bolt!"

_Bolt. You're a good boy...you're my good boy. You always will be._

* * *

_Aria Link's developed another delivery route?_ She remembered everything she'd done with Bolt, always with him by his side saving her at any turn, that led to her presumed accomplishments. I_t seems we'll be able to travel between towns more efficiently now. It's all thanks to her._

_Don't you mean it's all thanks to Bolt? Another said. Aria's simply lucky to have a dingo like him._ She let the discouraging sound of gossip slowly fade away and the guilt to pang in her heart.

She knew that all too well. A dingo like Bolt deserved someone better than herself - he didn't deserve to tolerate her clumsy ways every time she made deliveries nor did he deserve doing most of the work for her in life. She felt sad and hopeless as to how she couldn't be better for Bolt - why couldn't she?

_Don't you think so too...Bolt?_

"I'm sorry, Bolt..." She said, squatting down and stroking his head, now strong and bold. "I'm sorry for being a worthless owner...I truly am..." She was replied with a soft, rather forgiving bark, perhaps meaning she'd done nothing wrong and enjoyed being with her just as much as she did with him.

_But you're the only one I can count on...so please...let me count on you...alright?_

She reminisced Bolt barking - wildly, optimistically, perhaps a bit silly to the passersby that heard his bark. She never understood why back then, but thinking of it now she knew - it was a promise Bolt had made her, a promise meaning he'd stay by her side forever.

* * *

"He's lost quite a bit of his eyesight and has grown considerably weak..." She remembered say, and watched Bolt, now weak, tired and feeble, the strength and boldness in his eyes gone, the usual, strong dark grey in his gaze turning white and blind. "Even the great Warrior Bolt cannot escape old age. It's about time you let him retire." She remembered - his struggle against his weak body, longing eyes pleading something she didn't know at the time - but that of perhaps he couldn't fulfill.

"I'm sorry, but I have deliveries to make..."

Another array of loud barking pierced the mildly tragic silence and halted her footsteps, as she could hear the words with every bark, perhaps fighting through the pain of his weak self.

_I'll come with you! I'll protect you! I will always!_

_And I'll always be with you, too._ She remembered that thought crossing her heart as she allowed tears collect in her eyes before running to him, savouring the warmth of his bushy fur as she felt a spot of water fall on her shoulder, never to let go.

_Bolt...I know...stay by my side and protect me...alright? Protect me...forever and ever..._

* * *

She ended her chain of memories and stared at Bolt - she remembered herself retiring for his sake, until Largo offered her a job as the Bee Hive sub-director; and how Bolt still remained protecting her ever since, in ways perhaps only they could understand. He was now asleep, his paws still on Aria's laps and his ear twitching slightly; Aria found that somewhat amusing, yet glad that Bolt would still protect her to the very end as could feel a tear well up - unbeknownst if it was the heat of the fire or her own emotions that aroused the glistening drop, that tickled Bolt's fur slightly as she continue to stroke Bolt's warm, strong head as she noticed a small smile form on Bolt's mouth.

_Thank you, Bolt...you'll always be my good boy, my good friend..._

A gust of chilly wind blew through the thin hinges of the balcony window that sat slightly ajar, knocking down a few objects on the nearby cupboard - thankfully, Bolt wasn't disturbed by the noise, but Aria stayed with him for a while to make sure everything was alright. Doing her best to reposition him on the ground on the soft carpet without waking him, she approached the scene of the mess and closed the foggy window, clearing up the pile of books that were slightly tainted with spots of frost. A picture slit through the pages of a book as she finished cleaning up the mess; she felt her relaxation diminish upon seeing the picture, of herself and a special someone - an Albisian Bee and his pink-scarved dingo. She felt her smile fade into confusion and sadness, as she stood there, staring into space for endless moments as she traversed her memories yet again.

* * *

"Gauche! Wait...Gauche..."

"Aria?"

"You're going on a delivery again? You've just returned from three days of walking...you need to rest a little...Haven't you been working non-stop lately? Your heart won't hold up..."

She remembered him saying nothing, simply smiling.

"Um...Gauche? Would you like to come over to my place to eat something? I sort of made too much...so..."

"In that case, why don't you perhaps call Sylvette over instead?" She wondered how many times Gauche had said that every time she wanted to invite him over to her place. "I will be fine on my own. You are truly very kind, Aria Link. Thank you. I must be on my way."

"Wait!"

"Hmm?"

"I'm really worried about you, Gauche...if you keep chasing jobs like this, you'll one day lose your heart...I can't help but think of that..."

An uncomfortable silence crossed. Gauche had yet to say anything, simply staring at her worried emerald eyes with his own, slightly surprised purple ones. Shortly, he regained his composure, saying:

"I am myself, Aria Link. _Nothing will change_."

_And again she watched his back turn, never looking back._

* * *

"A first present to celebrate your promotion...don't worry, we'll celebrate it properly later." Aria handed him the packet full of canned soup that she herself paid for Gauche.

"Thank you, Aria Link..."

"I'll be lonely...but, Gauche...you've always worked so hard for this moment..." She tried to hide the tear that leaked from her eye, unsure if it was out of joy or sadness.

_Congratulations._

* * *

Sylvette stood alone in her house, dressing warmly for the cold occasion as she stood for endless moments near the warm campfire, the living room dark and only illuminated by the mild, fiery orange. The warmth of the fire seemed to be fruitless to shield her from the cold - the cold of being alone, the cold of having to lose someone you love. Her azure eyes peered at the photograph in her hands, of herself and the same Albisian person Aria thought of - a tear slit swiftly through her cheek like a shooting star, as she wandered through memories of different emotions - joyous, painful, melancholic.

"I'm being promoted to the capital, Akatsuki!" She dreamt through the memory as she could clearly remember her brother's enthusiastic tone in his voice as he first heard of the wonderful news. "Once I'm in Akatsuki, your brother's going to be head Bee, you'll see! If I'm to be Head Bee, I'm sure to find a cure for your legs! I'll earn a lot of money! I'll work and work and save up a fortune!"

That wasn't precisely the most merriest of news for her; she found herself slightly disliking that side of her brother - he would overwork himself without taking account for how much she worried her, simply for the sake to change both of their lives for some promotion she never really understood.

_Brother...do you care about work, or do you care about me?_

She recalled herself driving her wheelchair to the balcony. She wasn't too young to understand by then; why? She thought. All she ever wanted was for them to be close, to never be apart, to stay at his side. Why did an invisible wall separate themselves as siblings despite the fact that her brother did everything for her sake?

"I don't need anything..." She remembered herself say, gently hugging Gauche's warm hand. "I don't care if I can never walk...just...don't leave me! _Brother.._."

* * *

"Sylvette...may I have your ribbon?" She could remember the fireplace crackling with warm flames similar to that of the warmth she felt now - rarely did she had a time where they got to talk and spend time together, and even the memory itself was a luxury she wouldn't waste.

"Oh? You want to use it?" She said, looking at the scarlet ribbon tied into a bow knot at the collar of her dress.

"Not really." He breathed. "I simply thought if I had something like it, I'd feel like I would be closer to you...even if we'll be separated."

They were of words beyond meaning to Sylvette - words that showed he truly cared, rare words given to her by Gauche who she saw to be always obsessed with work, words that meant love between the two siblings, the small family - a simple, yet strong meaning for Sylvette's innocent mind. She allowed the slight pang of surprise to freeze for briefly, before giving off a cute, warm smile.

"Here." She handed her brother the untied ribbon.

"Thank you."

_Even though we're separated, we're close..._

* * *

"That's it!" She decided on that fateful day. "I'll make a doll and give it to him!" She recalled herself learning how to make dolls and how she enjoyed making them - she remembered her pricking her finger as she sewed, but amidst the small pain she remaining smiling, and working hard. I will make this doll wonderful for him, she thought. "So I can always be near him to cheer him up...and to be sure that he never forgets about me..."

_A doll that looks just like me._

* * *

"You're leaving for the capital today?" Worry, guilt and sorrow enveloped her heart.

"They rushed the schedule. I'm sorry..."

Sylvette's expression drooped. Things aren't meant to be, aren't they? _But...for him to leave so soon..._

"When I become Head Bee, I'll come pick you up..." She recalled her longing, and what was perhaps the final time she experienced her brother's warm, genuine embrace. "For sure..."

"Brother..."

_I never managed to finish the doll before his long departure...but he'll come back for me...right?_

* * *

A memory they shared, a memory that perhaps tore the both of them apart.

"...Brother has been fired from the Letter Bees?"

"Gauche is...no longer a Letter Bee. " Aria said through teary eyes, her clothes wet from the rain that perhaps fell on that day in accord to the heart-breaking incident. "He has lost his heart, and no one has seen him since... I'm so very sorry..."

_It's a lie, Aria!_

She wailed frantically and sorrowfully, dropping the doll, tears overflowing, her voice anguished and in disbelief.

_All lies! It's a lie...A lie! He said he'd come back! He definitely would come back..._

_Lies...It had to be..._

_Why? Why..._

* * *

Looking back, she felt silly and stupid to have believed that. Silly that she couldn't accept things are they are, silly that she perhaps could've stopped him from losing his heart when she had the chance - she felt the remains of the fire slowly diminish into embers, the crackles louder, the relaxation and leisure in the flame vanishing along with it. She begrudgingly fought against the uncomfortable pang within her, scolding herself for tears that she perhaps swore herself to no longer shed. Get over it, she felt her mind hammer, get over it...

_I'd let go of all this...so why do I still think of it? A dead person..._

Admist her anguished sorrow lied desire and longing; small and slight as it may, it didn't hold back her desperate plea. She never knew what happened, and made that presumption to escape the painful memories that aroused her tears every time they crossed her mind. To illusionate herself that it was fine without him...but now it wasn't. The teardrops that tainted the glass pane of the picture, the usual shine fading away with the last of the fireplace embers in the haunting, cold darkness, red spots on the burnt wood perhaps signifying her final hopes of that someday, Gauche might return.

_Someday..._

* * *

Aria felt her emotions mix - her happy moments with Bolt, and the sadness of Gauche's disappearance. There was regret - regret that she could have prevented this but she didn't. She thought of Sylvette, wondering how she'd fared since her brother's disappearance - that of a burden and sorrow she'd carried at such a young age. _Gauche_, she breathed in her mind, not caring if he heard her, but wondered if her words would reach him. _You worked so hard...for her..._.but look at you now. _Is this what you want?_ She wailed, allowing a knife to sting her heart and a tear to slit through her emerald eyes. T_o see us cry... If you're out there...anywhere..._

_Please return home...Gauche..._

_Please return home...brother..._

**More angst, more memories, more crying, and more Yagami testing a new way of posting things. Hope you all enjoy this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi. **


	6. Trapped in a Sky called Freedom

Trapped in a Sky called Freedom

_"Stay that cool Jiggy forever."_

_"And you'll forever be the Jiggy we look up to. I love you. Nello does as well."_

_"Wait for me, I promise. Thank you two...for believing in me."_

* * *

Across the rocky paths and lands with distinct plants adorning the lanes was the humming rhythm of an iron horse with the trail of heart fragments from the exhaust and mild screeching of the wheels crossing the bumps of the land. The wheels entered the sandy regions of the White Desert of Jose, as the screeching turned faint, replaced by a mild hissing as Jiggy could notice the fine, tiny grains flying across the air as he continued. He stole a glance above the vacant, empty sky of nothing but black, devoid of the slightest trace of light as he went further into Yodaka outskirts, and saw Harry - majestic wings openly flying, as if motionless, where the winds would bring him at their leisure - slowly descending on his shoulder with a letter in his strong, refined talons.

An expressionless face hid his curiosity as he opened the letter.

* * *

Jiggy Pepper:

_By the time Harry's given you this, you're probably far into Yodaka. Remember that letter I passed to you that didn't have an address? Someone should be waiting near the Gelato for it. Near Kyrie, isn't it? Where you came from the first time I met you. Well, I'll fare fine on my end. Good luck with everything, as always._

* * *

There was no name, but a recognizable signature. Jiggy didn't know if this was some sort of setup or something important related to Largo's new schemes with Reverse, but he didn't precisely bother himself to question it - just as he thought Harry didn't, if he was willing to pass on the message by _flying _to his location in the first place; perhaps by coincidence, and coincidence that Jiggy had some deliveries due for the village common with Gaichuu, as he made a turn towards the rest, Harry effortless diving towards the same direction. He disregarded a part of the letter that seemed to bother in him somewhere - Jiggy had a great deal of respect in who was now his former master, the person who actually made himself a Bee, a job to be proud for, something..._that adhered to past events._

His blended thoughts occupied him to reach the green outskirts of the Blue Mint Gelato beyond his conscious - fortunately, Jiggy took a smart route that could avoid as much fighting as possible, and Harry would scout the skies for danger for further insurance. There was only a hooded man as he reached Largo's given coordinates, the delivery going silent without fuss, before he proceeded into the village surrounding sculptures of purple mountains.

_It's a letter! A letter from our brother! _Cries of two siblings, an elder sister and a younger brother - ended his final delivery. He watched the siblings sob, unsure if whether their lips were smiling or frowning out of their joy of the letter, genuine tears welling up in their eyes. He could see faces in them - faces that reminded him of faces of people he'd yet to meet for such a long time.

_My little brother...and my little sister. _

Everything blended in seemed so..._odd_, he thought. _Bittersweet, pain in what was nostalgia. Reminiscent of things..._

He reminisced regret without his face showing it. Regret he'd perhaps forgotten, sadness but a feeling he perhaps no longer really knew, perhaps on the outside. It was on that fateful day where he received that letter from Nelli, given to him by the Albisian Bee boy - a letter he kept with him ever since, wherever he went, as he withdrew it from his jacket, brushing aside the dust. He thought as he traversed through the lands, perhaps involuntarily heading somewhere he never really knew he'd go, towards the western lands.

Approaching the corners of the land to drove him to a dead end, there was the ringing of bells - bells loud, yet soothing a sound as he arrived at the town, gazing at the swings of the church bell from the distance - the church he made with his own money for sake of two important people in his life...now to be one, but perhaps the other was somewhere simply beyond his reach.

_Stay that cool Jiggy forever._

The voice called into his head, perhaps from the sky.

There was the pang of regret again, thoughts pondering as he peered his eyes closer into the land, the old houses, the stony cliffs. Everything - it was a rare occasion where Jiggy had bothered himself to return to his homeland, and the sudden vibe that brought him here brought about that guilt for not returning after quite a long while. He watched Kyrie, the Dead End Town, from above the cliffs; perhaps to avoid being seen. Harry perched on his shoulder yet again - perhaps an occasion as rare as his return to him who always enjoyed the soaring trips of leisure in the sky. They stood motionless for endless moments staring into space - amidst that, Jiggy secretly wondered what Harry would be thinking of as intently as he was.

* * *

_I couldn't leave you two...to go for Yussari, but in the end I did, and look how it'd ended..._

_That's not the Jiggy I know! The Jiggy I know follows his dreams! To throw yesterday away to live for tomorrow! A man who turns the town of dead ends to the town of dawns and beginnings!_

_That's why...you're cooler than anyone else...that's the Jiggy I know! Don't ever change, Jiggy, ever...ever..._

_I won't. I promise._

_Watch me! Someday I'll be a man like you, Jiggy! Someday, for sure...I'll protect my sister!_

_I know...take care of her._

* * *

It felt slightly silly of him to actually leave. Nello soon fell ill, and died a week after the message. Perhaps he could've done something...something. But he couldn't bring back the past, couldn't go back and set things straight. There was no guilt nor sadness, an unwavering expression on his face as he travel into the streams of the memories again.

* * *

_You want to make a bell for the biggest Church in Amberground? _There was taunting of men familiar to him, men who he proved wrong_. C'mon, it'd take you a lifetime to actually accomplish that, even if you're a Bee!_

_I don't care. So be it._

_You'd need a horse to drag this huge thing all the way to Kyrie! _They continued teasing at the large, seemingly dull bell. _What do you even need this big thing for?_

_A symbol._

_A symbol for them._

_If we'd look up at this bell, it's like we can see the stars...while perhaps beyond our reach just by reaching up and trying, it's just that feeling when you stretch out your hands towards the stars. The distinctive accomplishment, that source of hope. It's not like you'll bring back something as worthless as a handful of mud...but for my little brother and sister, they'll catch a star and shine as bright as one - as long as it's Nelli, or Nello, they'll do it for sure._

_Shine like the stars, Nello, Nelli. _He thought. _Just you wanted me to._

* * *

Escaping from the trance of thoughts, he pondered on the final moments. He wondered how Nelli fared - it had been a long time since he last saw her, and didn't knew what he'd do if he ever did. All he had was a letter from her - perhaps he'd ask Lag for a proper glimpse of what was truly inside - and memories of the distant past. He remembered hatred from his departure, for leaving them - without a trace not understanding. If it weren't for Lag, he wondered how long that hatred would be allowed to fester - and how perhaps their siblingly relationship would've been strained, never a trace of explanation. He never would've left them for nothing - he left for them and only them, and missed every moment unable to see them. He who could go anywhere on his iron horse, couldn't go see them, free to roam everywhere, yet trapped in the boundaries of care and love towards his little sister and brother.

He reminisced the contents of the letter, written.

* * *

_Jiggy, my brother_

_I don't know what it's like for you out there, but, Nello...he's gone. He'd passed away due to an illness and I couldn't protect him...even when he keeps saying he's to protect me. I used to think badly of you...how I thought Nello thought badly of you. You not being there for us. Rumours in the town about you working for the government and not caring for us due to being used and luxury widespread. I was going to Yussari just two weeks ago to make you read Nello's letter, which I've kept inside the envelope as well. I was under the impression that he hated you for leaving him, and harbored the same malice...until Lag came. He showed me everything. He showed me the bell in the church you made for us. He showed me Nello's heart. Oh, Jiggy, you were always working for us, and I'm sorry to have doubted you..._

_No matter where you are now, I'll be fine. Stay free, stay happy, and stay cool and strong like Nello wanted. I'll always be here waiting for you if you ever want to come back, to see you as the man who turns the town of dead ends to the down of dawns and beginnings, the man who pursues his dreams, the man who shines like a star._

_I wonder if Nello's a star now? May he be watching over the both of us...wherever he is. Perhaps living the dream as one. He's a true man now, after all...he was brave enough to do everything, even pushing through his illness to write that for you...I'm tearing up as I'm continuing..._

_And you'll forever be the Jiggy we look up to. I love you. Nello does as well._

_Your sister, Nelli_

* * *

He longed with all his heart to see them. To visit what was perhaps Nello's grave and Nelli herself and apologize fruitlessly for not being there for them when they needed him both. But...as he was now, he felt ashamed, slightly, of not being what they wished him to be, a man who throws yesterday away for a brighter tomorrow, as Nello would usually say. A cool person capable of turning towns of dead ends to beginnings and miracles. They didn't want him sad or guilty. To pursue his dreams...

_My dream...is to make you two happy. I'll aid the poverty of this place, as I always wanted and promised. To really turn this place around to the town of dawns and beginnings. But I can't do that yet._ _Not yet. I'm not who you wanted to be yet. Not what he wanted to be yet. Me with a dream accomplished... but I know I'll do that. For you. For Nello. _

_Wait for me, I promise. Thank you two...for believing in me. _

Leaving his words in final traces of thoughts, wondering if he'd ever convey them to their recipients, the sound of his wheels as he departed back to the Hive gradually grew silent, the rhythm of the engine continuing in tranquil, steady hums. Removing his goggles, Jiggy peered into the sky now adorned by swirls of lighted dots that of a distinct white, blue and purple, Harry cruising the skies, only heading forward. He smiled, wondering if the brightest star that glistened and twinkling upon him was Nello calling out to him - and pondered on his - no, perhaps their- situation. Were they free to roam in a land simply trapped in perpetual darkness and hard-to-pass boundaries unknown to them, trapped in feelings he'd yet to feel for long, perhaps Harry himself having such troubles? Or were they, trapped in a world of ignorance and mysteries, free to scour the extending lands, strifeless across the land and sky?

But there was only one direction could they proceed further, and that was forward, to the present, and the future, whether they were free or caged.

_And to Jiggy, a promise._

**Busy as I may be, at least I managed this. Not really the best, but I hope you guys enjoy this. Jiggy was something I never really did and tried to write something out of what I could really think of logically. **

**Dedicated to a really, really good, if not best friend who made the process of making this very enjoyable.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tegami Bachi. **


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